POKER INFO - PROILE - Dave "Devilfish" Ulliot

Dave rung tonight and we chatted about the world series..anyways after an hour of chatting Dave said "When am I seeing u again Cat u r such a good friend we should go out somewhere"..I said "Dave, we shall go out soon maybe hire a boat and go sailing and drink beer all day"..Dave said "Sounds idyllic Cat"..anyways I ve booked the yacht up for the end of the Month and we are going sailing..how cool is that?

he didnt do so bad in the wsop. he made a couple of in-the-moneys and i heard he got 3rd in a NL holdem event. way to go dave

OK, that last post wasn't me. I mean how could i even afford to rent a yacht when I make five bucks an hour cleaning the spluge off the windows and floors at the nude dance booth place by my mom's house? Dave is a good friend, and I am sorry for giving him herpes. I am so sorry David. Cheerio.

What I meant to say was five pounds an hour. And that was after I got a raise in salary. I said five bucks an hour because I just took a trip to the U.S. I snuck my way into the luggage compartment of a 747 jumbo jet bound for Vegas. It was very cold. When I got to Vegas I stalked...um, visited my favorite poker players. After bonding out of jail...um, leaving my hotel room, I made my way to the Rio hotel to play in the WSOP main event. Unfortunately I proceeded to spend the rest of my bankroll on all of Vegas' finest crack whores before I got there. I was dead ass broke but I still had to play. I got to the Rio and tried to pass a counterfeit ten thousand dollar bill signing in under the name Phil Helmuth. I thought no one would notice. I was never told that ten thousand dollar bills aren't in circulation and that there was already a Phil Helmuth in the tournament. I was immediately arrested and after numerous full cavity searches, I was told that the crack whores had given me aids to go along with my herpes and got booted back to England. Upon my return my citizenship was revoked and I was deported to Siberia. I am now in a gulag awaiting execution. I will be drawn and quartered tomorrow morning. This is my last letter to the known civilized world. Goodbye everybody I guess I deserve it. My mommy always told me I was an asshole.

Last post quite amusing actually lol..but of course I didnt write it..anyways Dave emailed me earlier and said that hes looking at yachts in a sailing yard tomorrow and would I drive down and meet him and help him pick one..I said "Of course Dave you are my friend and a few hundred miles is nothing in the name of friendship"..Im waiting the reply..I will let u know tomorrow what yacht we picked!

That last post wasnt me..anyways Dave and I met at the boatyard..we picked a 45 foot yacht and Dave said "Seeing as you are my friend Cat you choose the name"..I said "Well Dave lets call her Hearty"..so thats the new name of Daves Boat..we are sailing next weekend around to Ireland where Dave has a 2nd home..I shall tell you what we get up to soon

Of course the above 3 posts werent written by me..Dave phoned tonight..he said "Cat Im setting sail in Hearty tomorrow for a short sail,would U like to come?"..I said "Ofcourse Dave shall I bring the beer?"..he chuckled and said " I have vintage champagne on board Cat we will get v drunk"..I said "Ok Dave see you at 8am"...its gonna be so cool